Rattle Those Pots

“A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster, salad and champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands.”
– Lord Byron (1788-1824)

“All the ingenious men, and all the scientific men, and all the imaginative men in the world could never invent, if all their wits were boiled into one, anything so curious and so ridiculous as the lobster.”
– Charles Kingsley (1819-1875)

Lobster Yoga

One of our dishes in a recent class that required killing two lobsters was Bisque de Homard (creamy lobster soup). That morning in our demo, Chef Philippe, who looked a little too pleased at the thought of once again making “the North Americans” squirm, produced two high-spirited, claw-waving lobsters from the fridge.

“Today,” Chef Philippe announced, extending both arms to showcase the squirming lobsters, “we will kill the lobster. You must realize that the lobster must be made completely calm before The Killing can occur.”

“Why?” several of us asked. (Our job in demo, we’ve learned, it to always ask “Why?” if anything is even remotely unclear. The chefs all remind us that this is our role, and that if we fail the exam, “it is because you failed to ask ‘Why?’ and there will be no pity.”)

Philippe’s answer to the question of why the lobster must be calm was pretty interesting, as it turns out – if the lobster is “stressed” before dying, chemicals will automatically be released that make the meat inside very tough and alter the flavor. I never knew that, but it explains why I’ve read several times before that I’m to avoid buying lobster from those enormous grocery tanks that are filled with them. (The New Yorker just ran a big article that talked about this, and the expensive pains that harvesters and shippers have to go to, to periodically “rest and calm” their transport en route, in efforts to avoid delivering bad lobster.)

“It is time for The Killing!” Philippe barked, as if daring an argument. On the chopping board in front of him, he stationed one of the restless fellows on the upper part of its back (basically, so that its tail was sticking straight up into the air), and actually started to slowly pet the shell in much the same way that we’d pet a dog’s head. He appeared to be serious. This, Philippe explained, was to “calm the crustacean” before The Killing. We all managed to bottle our laughter until he actually started whispering a rhythmic “Shhh. Shhh,” while continuing to stroke the unsuspecting lobster.

Our gurgling laughter didn’t seem to break the spell, though – what Philippe called “Lobster Yoga” – and when he slowly turned the lobster back onto its front, it had, in fact, completely stopped wiggling around and fussing. (We weren’t steaming the lobsters that day, so I’ll skip the whole knife-in-the-brain process once the lobster is calm, but suffice to say that Killing the Lobster is quick work, and the lobster did, in fact, remain calm.)

It also was interesting to learn that when lobsters’ claws are taped shut or closed with elastic, it’s not so much for the benefit of the cook, but because the lobsters will tear each other apart and feed on each other in the tank. Another tip we learned: when you buy lobster frozen at the grocery store, if you see that it’s stretched out completely flat (not curled in a “C” shape), don’t buy it; the lobster was likely dead before it was frozen. The “C” doesn’t absolutely guarantee freshness either, though, unfortunately, since larger producers now know that they can prod “recently deceased” lobsters with an electric rod, and in doing so, make it curl up again (temporarily). Remember in nicer restaurants, though, that the flatness of the lobster isn’t typically a problem; there, the flatness is likely just how the chef decided to present it – so don’t holler at your poor server “Oh, we’re on to your tricks, buddy!!” or anything like that.

“Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.”
– P.J. O’Rourke

“Fish should still smell like the ocean. If they smell like fish, it’s too late.”
– Unknown

Sushi Training Wheels

One of the nicest people we’ve met is a Korean student at CB named Shin-hye, whom we work alongside each day. Her husband is a pilot, and they and their 10-year-old son (who wants to dognap Charlie, I’ve been warned), moved to Ottawa from New Zealand last year.

Shin-hye overheard us talking about how much we’d like to learn to roll sushi, and volunteered to teach us what she knows. We had a great time this past Thursday, when we spent several hours rolling and re-rolling marinated vegetable sushi (we move on to fish next time). Interestingly, it’s the rice that’s the tricky part. We learned a lot of the differences between Korean and Japanese dishes, and Shin-hye even checked out a few library books for us that give good pointers.

We’re also both really enjoying the extra seminars the school offers. A few weeks ago we went to a foie gras seminar, where the chef made three different dishes so we could see alternatives for preparing and serving. We sampled to the point of being full – in spite of hearing the details of how the livers of the young geese actually reach their swollen state (ouch). We also got to try a 12-year-old balsamic vinegar during a tasting seminar last week, and a bunch of different salts, peppers, vinegars and oils from all over the world. For the balsamic tasting, Chef Philippe had a blind taste test to see if we could place the 2-year-old balsamic, and the 4-, 8-, 10- and 12-year-old versions. (We missed two – oops.) It was pretty interesting.

I was startled to learn last week that before being sold to consumers, beef must be aged at least 4 weeks. We all lost our appetite for that day’s dish when we found out why – the rigor mortis in the deceased animal has to have time to soften. (Mary Kerr, at this moment, is mentally counting the vegetables in her fridge.) Chicken only takes 1 day to age, and fish only a few hours.

Spuds

I wrote a little potato trivia in my last update, but did you know that much of Europe feared the potato, and considered it an “evil” food? The Spanish Colonies would use the potato to feed hospital inmates, but the general thinking throughout Europe at the time was that the potato was poisonous; some regions believed it caused everything from laziness and poverty to leprosy. Interestingly, part of the argument made by people against it was that the Bible praised wheat repeatedly, but where was mention of the potato? Poverty-stricken consumers of the potato were stigmatized as morally inferior and unhealthy.

The good news was that Germany’s King Frederick William realized that potatoes were a good source of nutrition; the bad news was that he ordered German peasants to plant and eat potatoes – or have their noses cut off. Oh, those nutty Germans….

On several continents, folk remedies involving the potato have included helping a toothache by carrying a potato around in a pocket, putting a slice of potato in a stocking and then tying it around necks to cure sore throats, and treating frostbite by rubbing raw grated potato on the affected area.

Other random tidbits: Potatoes first arrived in the [American] colonies in 1621, when Nathaniel Butler, Governor of Bermuda, shipped two chests to Virginia Governor Francis Wyatt at Jamestown (I have no idea how they survived transport). French fries are said to have made their U.S. debut during Thomas Jefferson’s presidency (1801-1809), when he had them served at the White House. And the potato became the first vegetable to be grown in space, when in 1995 NASA and the University of Wisconsin, Madison, created technology that could feed astronauts on long voyages, and (get this) “eventually, feed future space colonies.”

“Only two things in this world are too serious to be jested on: potatoes and matrimony.” – Irish saying

“They [potatoes] are good for boys’ cold fingers at suppertime on winter nights.”
– Marion Harland, Common Sense in the Household (1873)

Hope everybody’s doing well! Click here for a recipe for Gratin dauphinois (Sliced potatoes baked and gratinéed in cream), which will not cause laziness, poverty or leprosy. Not a light dish, but you sure will smile once it starts baking…

Ciao amici,

Jen