Rattle Those Pots

Bonjour amis,

Minor Developments

• Charlie (aka: the dog who formerly liked to move) has officially stuck his face to the fireplace screen, and we can’t break the seal.
• Thom made his first biscotti and classic French bread; both were absolutely fantastic.
• The good news is that the snow is all melting. The bad news is that it’s leaving puddles of slush the size of Lake Erie behind.
• We’re working on our Web site (www.rattlethosepots.com) with updates, photos, videos, recipes, etc., which we hope will be up and running in the next couple of weeks.
• The people in the apartment next door (our “guinea pigs”), once so excited to “have Cordon Bleu students living right next door!” have grown so accustomed to us bringing over dinner and dessert samples, they now just swing open the door and stretch out an arm for the dish. When they have company over, this particularly seems to amuse the guests, who, for all we know, think we’re aimless wanderers with mental problems who just like to randomly give people plates.
• We’ve found a few good Canadian white wines and a couple of great ice wines, but so far, despite concerted efforts, are underwhelmed by the Canadian reds we’ve tried. If you want to see something funny sometime, watch Thom’s face as he takes the first sip. It’s a bit like the expression he wore during election returns.

Foodie Darwin Awards

At the risk of sounding morbid, I got to wondering whether there were any food-related Darwin Awards out there. After checking it out, I found about a dozen. A few of the more bizarre ones are below. [For anyone not already familiar with Darwin Awards: they “salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways.”]

Award #1, “Human Popsicle”: (24 January 2000, Ohio) The Los Angeles Police Department contacted Ohio police hoping to locate a missing truck driver and his load of broccoli. The stalled truck was located four days later and towed to a local mechanic. They thawed and refueled the truck and found that, apart from an empty gas tank, the vehicle had no mechanical problems. The driver’s personal effects and seven bricks of marijuana were discovered in the cab of the vehicle. The trucking company and the police were both interested in the whereabouts of the errant driver, and a search was initiated. Shortly thereafter a patrolman noticed two feet protruding between the pallets of broccoli — feet which belonged to the missing man. The broccoli was unloaded as quickly as possible in the cold Ohio winter, leaving the frozen body of the driver standing precisely upside down, attached to the floor of the trailer by his head. He was surrounded by space heaters and eventually pried off the floor, but his frozen corpse had to be turned on its side to load it into a rescue squad vehicle, as his arm was sticking out and wouldn’t fit through the door.

The Cuyahoga County coroner’s office determined that the man was trying to retrieve a stash of cocaine from between the pallets of broccoli when he fell and knocked himself unconscious. He soon suffered from a fatal case of hypothermia and died in the icy air. Perhaps he should have confined his drug smuggling to the more clement climate of California.

Award #2, “Count Your Chickens”: (31 August 1995, Egypt) Six people drowned Monday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down. Police said his sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one by one to help him, but also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to help. But they apparently were pulled by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were later pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo. The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.

Award #3, “Gone Fishin”: (25 May 1999, Ukraine) A fisherman in Kiev electrocuted himself while fishing in the river Tereblya. The 43-year-old man connected cables to the main power supply of his home, and trailed the end into the river. The electric shock killed the fish, which floated belly-up to the top of the water. The man waded in to collect his catch, neglecting to remove the live wire, and tragically suffered the same fate as the fish.

Award #4, “Guy Gulps Goldfish”: (29 January 1998, Ohio) Hungry or just plain stupid? Wednesday was a fateful day for Michael. He was shooting the breeze with a group of buddies, watching a friend clean his fish tank, when the friend complained that one specimen in particular had become a fishy menace. It had outgrown the tank, and was eating other denizens of the aquatic community. Michael volunteered to assist. He seized the five-inch fish and attempted to swallow it. Unfortunately, the fish continued its predatory ways by sticking in his craw. As he gasped futilely for breath, turned blue, and sank to his knees, his three friends realized that something was amiss. They phoned 911 and informed the dispatcher that Michael had eaten some fish, and was having trouble breathing.
Paramedics were quickly dispatched, and they arrived to find the fish tail still protruding from the victim’s mouth. Despite their best efforts neither the fish nor the twenty-three-year-old could be resuscitated. The killer fish had claimed one last victim. “If I dare you to jump off a bridge and you do it, you’re stupid,” Police Major Mike Matulavich said.

Left-Field Trivia

Did you know that there really was an actual “Chef Boyardee?” He was an Italian immigrant who came to the U.S. in 1914 when he was 17; the Italian spelling of his name is actually “Boiardi.” After working at New York’s Plaza Hotel, Boiardi moved to Cleveland, where customers asked for bottles of his spaghetti sauces to eat at home. Boiardi obliged, added cheeses and pasta to the sauces, and an industry was born. Go figure. Next time you’re in the grocery and see cans of this slimy canned pasta, look for the Chef Boyardee picture – that’s his headshot.

It takes all sorts:
There is actually a term for the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one’s mouth: “arachibutyrophobia.” Now try saying that word with peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth.

Now that’s just gross…
The National Soft Drink Association writes that soft drinks now account for nearly 30% of Americans’ beverage consumption. That is equivalent to more than 576 12-ounce servings per year, translating into more than 4,300 teaspoons of sugar.

Well, their chocolate is better…
Q: Who is the world leader in chocolate consumption per capita?
A: The Swiss, who come in at roughly 22 lbs of chocolate per person per year. (Americans, if you wondered, eat about 10 lbs of chocolate per person per year. We must be full from drinking all that Coke.)

Mark your calendars! Mark your calendars!
Listed in no particular order of importance, March is:
National Noodle Month
National Sauce Month
National Peanut Month
National Frozen Food Month
National Flour Month
National Caffeine Awareness Month

I wonder if there’s a National Food Additives Month? Or a National Skirt-the-Food-Inspections Month? I’d really like to know how National Noodle Month is actually celebrated. If anyone gets any info on what is surely a milestone for the flourishing noodle industry, get back to me on that.

Score!

Earlier this month, Steven Beckta, who owns the restaurant where we’re staging, let us know about a “give-away” at the National Archives a few blocks up the road. Archive staff was dismantling a big exhibit on Canadian cooking history, and a lot of the materials were up for grabs. We set the alarm clock, hoofed it over there, and scored some fabulous big pictures. Some are mounted on big pieces of thick particle board, and some are framed prints. My two favorites are one that shows a group of tomato pickers by the side of the road in the 1930s or 1940s, and another is a wonderful black and white mounted print that shows a Christie’s biscuit truck being pulled by a team of horses, with fellows nearby all suited up for business, wearing derby hats. (Nabisco eventually bought Christie’s, we learned.) They’re fantastic pictures, and would look great in a restaurant. For now, we have some of them hanging in our apartment, and are storing others.

Can’t-Miss Soup Recipe

Here’s a really flavorful soup from Brigtsten’s in New Orleans that I tried out the other day; it’s a snap to make. Definitely not a dish that’s on the lighter side, but soooo good as a treat. This one’s major comfort food. Serve with a crusty baguette.

Butternut Shrimp Bisque
(Serves 6)

Ingredients
2 cups uncooked fresh large shrimp (approximately 1 lb. + 2 shrimp, depending on size)
2 cups water
3 Tbsp unsalted butter
2 cups diced yellow onion
1 bay leaf
4 cups butternut squash (peeled, deseeded, and cut into ½” cubes)
2 tsp salt
3/8 tsp ground cayenne pepper
1/8 tsp ground white pepper
6 cups heavy whipping cream

1. Peel and devein your shrimp (seafood folks should do this for you if you ask in advance; just be sure they hold onto the heads and shells for you). Put heads and shells in medium-sized saucepan, and cover with 2 cups water. Bring to a boil, then simmer 5 minutes, and strain. Set stock aside.

2. Heat butter in a larger, heavy-duty saucepan over medium-high. Add onions and bay leaf. Stir mixture occasionally until onions are translucent (approx 3-4 mins).

3. Reduce heat to medium and add squash. Cook, stirring occasionally, until squash begins to soften (approx 6-8 mins).

4. Reduce heat to low. Add shrimp, salt, cayenne and white pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until shrimp turn pink (approx 2-3 mins).

5. Add ½ cup shrimp stock and cook, stirring occasionally, for 6-8 mins.*

6. Transfer mixture to a food processor or blender and puree. Return puree to saucepan and add cream. Bring just to a boil, then reduce heat to low. Simmer 2-3 mins.

7. Ladle to bowls, sprinkle with cayenne, and serve immediately.

* I like to reserve three cooked shrimp for garnish right before the puree step. Just slice the shrimp in half from head to tail, and lay ½ shrimp on top of each bowl of soup.

Bon appetit!

Jen