Rattle Those Pots

China

Slurping soup isn’t frowned upon; it’s considered to be a sign of culinary appreciation.

A traditional seafood superstition is that it’s bad luck to ever turn a fish over on the plate. Doing so is thought to cause the boats of fishing families to overturn out at sea. (The same is the case in Poland.)

When fish dishes are served, the fish head is always reserved for the guest of honor; the platter holding the fish will always be turned in such a way that the fish head points toward this guest. The fish’s eyes and lips, though, are considered the “most valued delicacies,” and are offered to the eldest lady present.

As a mealtime guest in someone’s home, it’s bad form to eat everything on the plate; doing so indicates to the host that he hasn’t provided enough.

In theory, no diner is supposed to rise from the table to close a meal before the guest of honor does, which can often lead to very lengthy meals.

Superstitions involving chopsticks abound: dropping or crossing chopsticks will inevitably bring bad luck (the exception being in dim sum restaurants, where crossing chopsticks signals to the waiter that diners are ready for the bill). It’s also considered bad luck to point chopsticks upward or at another diner. And if a diner finds an uneven pair of chopsticks at his place setting, it’s thought that he will likely soon miss a train, plane or boat.

Toothpicks are frequently used between courses, and accepted etiquette is to use the toothpick at the table with one hand, while covering the mouth with the other hand. (I remember this being the case in Taiwan, and it was surprising. I’m also told this is acceptable in France, although I’ve never seen it.) It’s also acceptable to use fresh toothpicks to spear more slippery pieces of food that chopsticks can’t hold, such as jelly fish or button mushrooms.

Diners may reach for things across the table, but only if they stand up to do so.

France

Chef Philippe told me about this interesting custom from French country weddings, which often begin in the early morning, and don’t quit until close to the same time the following morning. Right before the bride and groom retire to their bedchambers – after an entire day and evening of eating round after round of courses and enjoying several wines and many toasts – they each are served a ceremonial cup of French onion soup. This soup is always prepared by the mother of the bride, because custom dictates that chopping onions for the soup will help to hide her tears over losing her daughter.

French chefs are miffed (understandably) if a diner adds condiments or seasoning to a dish before even tasting it. If you actually request ketchup in a restaurant, expect surly service from waitstaff afterward.

In France, the custom of giving the lady the “good seat” (the bank/chairs with their backs to the wall, while men face the lady and the wall) is more strictly observed. I’ve been really surprised by how many fellows – even men on dates! – in Canada and in the U.S. stick the gal in the “bad seat”.

In the south of France, superstition has it that if a woman is tossing a salad and leaves fall out of the bowl, she’ll become pregnant the next year.

In many regions Sunday dinners will often start at 2:00 pm and can last well into the evening (this also is the case in Italy).

At French weddings during the Middle Ages, guest would bring their own spiced cakes and pile them up on a table. If the bride and groom could kiss each other over the pile of cakes without knocking any over or off of the table, it was considered good luck.

Germany

Germans typically won’t put either hand – but particularly their left hand – in their lap while eating, so as not to look like they’re feeding a dog. This is interesting, because some restaurants will not only allow dogs inside, but bring under-table water bowls for them while patrons dine. (The same no-hands-on-lap rule also reigns in France, although there, I’m told, other diners suspect that the fellow hiding his hands is groping the legs of the lady next to him.)

When dining or drinking with Germans, guest should wait until someone says “Guten Appetit” or wants to “anstossen” (click glasses to toast). It’s considered offensive not to make eye contact when toasting (this is justifiably the case in many countries). In Germany, the toaster who doesn’t make eye contact is promptly informed that s/he will now be punished by having “seven years of bad sex.” (I don’t have any idea who came up with the length of time or punishment, but it sure is funny.)

Cutting potatoes with a knife offends well-brought-up Germans, the explanation being that if you crush your potato with a fork, the rougher surface lets the diner more easily and neatly soak up the thick gravy that’s a part of so many meals.

Hungary

One of the most popular Hungarian toasts is “égészegedre!” It’s wise to check pronunciation in advance, though, since the way English speakers typically pronounce it has the toaster enthusiastically saying “To your ass!” instead of “To your health!”

Italy

When Italians are served pasta, they typically won’t use (or be served with) a knife or spoon; they simply twirl the pasta on the side of their plates.

Espresso is always enjoyed after the meal, never with the meal, and is usually ordered following dessert, not with it. (Many diners will then follow their espresso with a limoncello or grappa – to combat the “effects” of the espresso.) If the meal doesn’t end until 1 am, it’s not unusual at all to still enjoy your espresso.

Italians will very rarely put cheese on any pasta dish containing fish.

You will almost never find tap water available at Italian restaurants. Almost all water is bottled, and you’ll often spend more on water than on wine. Water glasses in Italy’s restaurants will never be filled more than one-half full. (This reminds me of our friend Vieri at Magazzino in Florence, who would good-naturedly harass us whenever we wanted water with our wine: “Water causes RUST!!” he would shout disapprovingly.)

Traditionally, in Italy, wine is served with every meal other than breakfast (although, we were told, in rural areas, workers often will have solely red wine as their breakfast).

On June 23rd (the eve of the feast of St. John the Baptist), an Italian custom involved putting egg whites in a jar of water, then setting the jar outside overnight. In the morning, the shape that the eggs had formed would be inspected. For example, if the shape of a ship had formed, it meant that the person viewing the eggs was going to America on a ship.

When invited for dinner parties, guests will almost always bring gifts. A phrase sometimes used to greet hosts is “Vengo a bussare con i piedi!” (“I will come and knock on your door with my feet,” because the guests’ arms are filled with gifts).

Japan

Many chefs in Japan are pleased when diners slurp their noodles as loudly as possible, since this is taken as expressing delight in the dish.

It’s considered very, very bad etiquette to pass food from one set of chopsticks to another person’s chopsticks.

Okinawa, an island in Japan’s southernmost prefecture, has more people per capita over the age of 100 than anywhere else in the world (attributed to diet, exercise, and low-stress lifestyle). Figures are rapidly deteriorating, though, because younger islanders, in particular, are dining more often at U.S.-owned fast food outlets.

It’s extremely bad manners to stick chopsticks in a full bowl of rice and leave them standing there, since this is similar to how rice is offered to the dead at funerals.

The Middle East

In many Middle Eastern and Arabic states, women are not permitted to eat with men. In some homes, women may eat in the same room, but off in a corner with the children, the reason ostensibly being that no one is permitted to see a woman unveiled other than her husband. In other homes, women remain in the kitchen to cook and serve, and then eat whatever is left over.

Poland

Flicking a few fingers against the neck signals an invitation (usually between men) to join the person doing the flicking for a drink of vodka.

Some older Poles sweeten their tea by holding a sugar cube between their front teeth, and then let their tea wash over the cube as they drink.

Russia

During Russian celebratory dinners, diners will more often than not use solely their fork or fingers.

The drink of choice at many dinners is usually vodka, closely followed by champagne, which can be served at the same meal. Enjoying vodka with meals in Russia doesn’t have the same stigma that it would in the U.S.; it’s part of perfectly respectable mealtime celebrations.

Vodka-drinking etiquette: Vodka is almost always served neat (necessitating creating small shot glasses). People will seldom drink vodka without eating something shortly afterward; even a group of fellows enjoying their vodka will typically stop between rounds to eat something salty.

During vodka toasts, glasses are raised throughout the toast. If you chink your glass with someone else’s, you’re expected to drink your glass in one go.

UK

Smoking in Scotland is frowned on during dinner, and at formal occasions, is considered a big no no if done before toasting the Queen.

I found this funny bit regarding tea on a British site: “If you are a Brit who wants a good cup of tea in the USA, ask for a cup of hot water and bring along your own tea bags. They never make it strong enough for the British palate because they never use boiling water.”

This one, from the same site, was a chuckler, too: “Spoons are particularly popular in the South for stirring sugar into tea. In fact, a surprising number of diner patrons compete in a silent contest to see who can absorb the most sugar in their tea without any running over the side of their glass. Various methods to compete include stirring very rapidly to increase friction, shifting from clockwise to counterclockwise in an attempt to get grains of sugar to collide, and raising the spoon slowly up and down while meditating upon the tea for apparently metaphysical reasons.” The same site advises to “never, ever comment on the staggering amount of sugar in the bottom of a Southerner’s glass of tea,” to which I’d have to point out, in all fairness, that Italians fill their espresso cups with every bit as much sugar as espresso. To each his own.

Sub-Saharan Africa

Eating with the left hand – ever – gives great offense at the table (the left hand is considered to be the unclean hand).

Thailand

Meals are often shared around a low table, with diners sitting on the floor. Pointing the soles of feet at anyone while at the table is considered a grave insult. (Diners remove their shoes before entering the room, and know never to step on the room’s threshold.)

The head is considered the most revered part of the human body, and touching it at the table is strictly taboo. Diners know not to touch the heads of their host’s children, and to keep their heads lower than any images in the room of the King, Buddha, or other religious figures.

At the equivalent of dinner parties in Thailand, wrapped gifts are offered to the host. Guests will leave the price of the item on the gift, since by failing to do so, the host would be embarrassed if, when he reciprocates, his gift wasn’t of equal value

Knives are typically not used at Thai tables since they’re thought to be instruments of aggression. Food is cut with the edge of a spoon, and is then pushed onto the spoon with a fork.

If separate drinking glasses or cups aren’t provided, diners share a communal cup or drinking bowl at the table.