Top Ten Ways to Torment Trick or Treaters
- 10) Startle four-year-olds by asking, “You don’t really believe that you’re a Power Ranger, do you?”
- 9) Greet youngsters by throwing open the door and screaming, “WE’VE FOUND THE MISSING WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!”
- 8) Speak and distribute candy in super-slow motion the entire night.
- 7) See how often you can freak out young trick-or-treaters by scratching your head and asking, “Hey! Where did your parents disappear to?!”
- 6) Provide extra Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for eagerly outstretched candy bags, then change your mind and replace them all with prunes.
- 5) Greet tiny trick-or-treaters by waving soaking wet, soapy mops on their heads; explain to frustrated curbside parents that you’re a Scratchless CarWash this year.
- 4) Dress up like Ghandi and then accuse confused trick-or-treaters of religious intolerance.
- 3) Inform carefree trick-or-treaters that goblins are sinful, and don’t they know that?
- 2) When kids ring the bell, throw open the door, run past them on the porch, then throw their candy bars as far away from the house as possible.
- 1) Agree to provide chocolate, but not until they agree to come back and help rake leaves.
